Down Memory Lane: Friendships, Change, and Growth

My school days were marked by daily bus rides with my friend Nikhil, a year younger and in a class. We spent evenings playing with other friends, but Nikhil held a special place as my best friend. An unfortunate bout of chickenpox for him meant I couldn't visit, leaving me anxious until we could resume our routine. He eventually moved, but our friendship continued, even reuniting us in the same class after I repeated ninth grade. We went to separate colleges after tenth grade, and he tutored me through my struggles in twelfth, helping me overcome the hurdle. He pursued engineering and an MBA from IIM Ahmedabad, remaining in touch despite the lack of widespread phone use at the time. I met him at his wedding reception around 2000 and again years later during a sales call at his office in Gurgaon. Though he responded to my messages on LinkedIn and WhatsApp, I sensed a shift in his demeanour, perhaps due to the formal environment. Perhaps I was simply expecting the warmth of our childhood, leading me to believe he had changed.

Fast forward to my working years. Colony connections faded somewhat, but new ones blossomed after my son, Shourya, was born. We reconnected with an old neighbour with whom my family was close during my childhood days and their son’s daughter was of the same age as Shourya.  With Saldy, Salome,  Sijee, Leena and Shourya  we formed a close-knit unit. Our first outing together was a water park adventure, followed by regular weekend trips to malls and theatres. Family trips included Coorg and overseas with our parents to Singapore and Malaysia. Another family, Niranjan's, joined our group, and our first trip with nine of us was to Tarkarli. This set the precedent for future outings, ensuring we all participated. Weekends often involved potlucks and shared celebrations, fostering a strong bond between our children, including Shourya, Salome, and Manya, despite their differing interests.

However, circumstances shifted. The pandemic restricted movement, and living in the same building allowed Saldy and Niranjan's families to become closer, leaving us feeling excluded (though it was not the case). Additionally, their daughters shared common interests, while Shourya, the only son, was like an odd family in the group. We were also the first to move out of the colony before its redevelopment, further distancing us. They remained in close contact, staying informed about developments in the colony, while we were simply informed.

Shourya's introverted nature and move to a different colony made it difficult for him to make friends. His differing interests from Salome and Manya further isolated him, and he wasn't included in all their gatherings with mutual friends. This situation mirrored my experience with Nikhil, where geographical and life changes led to a gradual disconnect.

As Shourya navigates adolescence, I recognize the possibility of him distancing himself from Salome and Manya as their interests diverge and individual friend circles develop. While he currently feels the sting of exclusion, his eventual acceptance and exploration of new friendships is a natural part of growing up.

One key difference between Nikhil and myself is the lack of parental connection between our families, unlike the close bond shared by my current group of friends. Despite this, I hold onto a sliver of hope expressed in a message last year: "When roles reverse, I pray we six will always be close, like we used to be." However, I understand that change is inevitable in life, and relationships evolve accordingly.

Looking back, I cherish every shared memory, whether our paths continue to intersect or diverge. Regardless of the future, I wish all our children, including Shourya, success and happiness in their lives.